Stop Waiting for Rescue: Why Your Story Keeps You Stuck
What’s really holding you back? Is it genuinely bad timing, or the narrative you’ve convinced yourself is true?
Bruce Gordon, former President of the NAACP, doesn’t mince words: living as a victim strips you of power. But there’s a way out: a structure for reclaiming control, one deliberate step at a time.
The Bounce Back Ladder: Your Route Out of Stuck
Picture your obstacles as rungs on a ladder. At the bottom, you’re trapped in victim thinking: blaming circumstances, insisting you’re powerless, waiting for external forces to shift things in your favour. It’s exhausting, and it leads nowhere.
Years ago, my gentle six-year-old would freeze when faced with anything challenging. “I can’t do it,” became their automatic response. Rather than swooping in to fix things, I changed the script: “I can do it, but I’m having a bit of trouble and might need some help.”
That single reframe, repeated consistently, transformed everything. Sometimes remembering “you can do this” was enough. Other times, it meant troubleshooting together. Occasionally, they’d ask for support, but always the kind that enabled them to finish, not the kind that did it for them. That’s how you build resilience.
Where You’re Stuck at the Bottom
Gordon identifies the lower rungs clearly:
- “I didn’t know!” (ignorance as defence)
- “It’s not my fault.” (deflecting responsibility)
- “There’s nothing I can do.” (learned helplessness)
- “I’ll just wait and hope.” (passive wishing)
These positions feel safe. They protect your ego. But they also keep you powerless.
Climbing Higher Changes Everything
The shift happens the moment you acknowledge what’s actually happening. That’s when power returns. The upper rungs belong to people who think differently:
- “This is the situation, and I see it clearly.” (honest acknowledgement)
- “I will find a way forward.” (resourcefulness kicks in)
- “This is mine to handle, regardless of who helps.” (full ownership)
- “I’ll make it happen.” (committed action)
When you reach these top rungs, you’re done waiting for someone else to solve your problems. You’ve claimed agency. Gordon’s message is straightforward: don’t sit around hoping luck, deadlines, or other people will intervene. Face reality, hunt for solutions, own the outcome, and act. That’s where genuine resilience actually lives.
Stop waiting. Start climbing. Power isn’t granted: it’s chosen. And it’s waiting at the top of your own ladder.
Shane Varcoe – Executive Director, Dalgarno Institute
